Phil Vanderslice

 The moment you meet someone they will make thousands of mental notes and computations. In the first twenty seconds, their prehistoric survival mechanism decides whether you are friend or foe and consequently generate a first impression that will affect how they view you going forward. Whether you are interviewing someone, they are interviewing you or you are speaking to a crowd of thousands, these first twenty seconds, and the non verbal cues you provide are critical to your success in the interaction. You might be surprised to know, research has shown the non-verbal cues are actually four times as important as what you say. So as you’re sitting in the meeting trying to focus on what you are saying, remember to focus on what is actually four times as important – what you convey non-verbally . So, what non-verbal cues can help you get that job, get that candidate you want or make the crowd love you?  Overdressing is better than underdressing: What if James Bond walked up to the bar and ordered his martini in a hoodie. You recognize this just doesn’t seem appropriate for the situation. It doesn’t have the same power as formal attire. Recognize your audience and always try to dress at least their level or one level above. What if you dress for the person you’re meeting, they love you and want to introduce you to the CFO or even CEO. Is your dress appropriate to meet that person? On almost every occasion you would rather err on the side of being over dressed. Posture: Whether standing or sitting, think about your posture. When you first meet, are you standing tall. When you sit, even in the lobby before you meet, are you sitting up straight, or leaning back in the chair. From the lobby to the end of the meeting, sit as if you have a pole strapped to your back. Handshake: I shake so many hands in my profession and I am amazed how many people get this wrong. Perhaps out of nervousness, people just fail this first connection. So, as odd as it sounds, practice with a spouse or a friend until you get it right. Square your shoulders, look them in the eye, and grip stronger than you think you should. As with dressing, it is so much better to over do it. Eye Contact and Eye Brows: Eye contact matters and people fail it all the time. Sometimes they fail because they are in the subservient position in the relationship – they are interviewing, therefore they look down. So here is a trick: Identify their eye color. If you try to identify the eye color of the person you meet, you will have a much better chance of maintaining solid eye contact during this initial meeting. In addition, raise your eyebrows. This is called an “Eyebrow flash”. Usually it is unconscious. It is a universal signal of friendship and an offer for social interaction. An eyebrow flash lasts for less than a half a second, so don’t get weird with it or do it multiple times. Following your eyebrow flash, the other party will typically unconsciously mirror you unless you look away immediately so if you watch for the mirrored flash, you won’t accidentally look away. Smile: Another universal signal that “I’m a friend.” Lean forward but don’t be a close talker: A character in the television show Seinfeld was known as “the close talker.” He stood just a little too close. Lean forward but stay out of the comfort zone of the person you’re talking to. Typically about two to three feet. Act as if the person you meet is an old friend: This final step is so much easier today than it was twenty years ago. Before you meet the person you’re going to speak with, review their digital profiles. Get to “know them.”  Then when you meet them, greet them with the familiarity of an old friend you haven’t seen in ten years. If you do this, almost all of the other six things will happen naturally. It will become a self fulfilling prophecy. They will imagine they have known you as well. You might find yourself hearing, “I feel like we’ve met somewhere before.” Because in their mind, they feel like they have had an interaction based on hey way you first interacted with them. That’s it. seven ways to make a first impression that will land you a job or make a meeting go the way you would like it to go. Good luck in your job search!

Interesting article in Forbes by Jacquelyn Smith In the market for a new job? You’ve probably been urged to “pursue your passions,” “leverage your network,” “tailor and tidy up your resume,” “do your homework,” and “dress for success”—among other things. “These are foundational aspects to job seeking that are timeless,” says Teri Hockett, the chief executive of What’s For Work?, a career site for women. David Parnell, a legal consultant, communication coach and author, agrees: “Much of this has been around long enough to become conventional for a reason: it works,” he says. “If you take a closer look, things like networking, research, and applying to multiple employers are fundamental ‘block and tackle’ types of activities that apply to 80% of the bell curve. They hinge upon casting a broad net; they leverage the law of averages; they adhere to the fundamentals of psychology. It’s no wonder they still work.” But some of it “does get old and overused, because job seeking is as unique and creative as an individual,” says Isa Adney, author of Community College Success and the blog FirstJobOutofCollege.com. “When you ask any professional who has achieved some level of greatness how he or she got there, the journey is always unique, always varied, and rarely cookie-cutter. Most have, in some capacity, followed their passion, used their network, and had a good resume–but those things are usually part of a much bigger picture, and an unpredictable winding path. Instead of always following the exact by-the-book job seeking formulas, most were simply open to possibilities and got really good at whatever it is they were doing.” We’re not saying you should discount or disregard traditional job seeking advice altogether. But it can’t hurt to mix it up and try less conventional approaches until you achieve your goals, Hockett says. “Times are always changing and while it’s always good to follow the basic advice, we also have to get rolling with the times,” says Amanda Abella, a career coach, writer, speaker, and founder of the Gen Y lifestyle blog Grad Meets World. “For instance, group interviews are making a comeback, we’ve got Skype interviews now, or you may interview in front of a panel. All this stuff didn’t happen as often before–so while the same basic stuff applies, we have to take into account all the new dynamics.” Hockett agrees and says if you are going to try some unconventional job seeking methods, you should “always be grounded with solid research and a clear direction of your intentions; then you will be ready for any opportunity to make a connection resulting in a positive impact on a hiring manager.” Parnell says generally speaking, unconventional methods should be used sparingly, judiciously and only when necessary. “And when you do decide to use them, factor comprehensively by recognizing things like industry standards, personalities involved, and the general ilk of the position’s responsibilities, before strategizing.” Here are 10 unconventional (but very effective) tips for job seekers: 1. Be vulnerable: It’s okay to ask people for advice! “Too often we think we have to sell ourselves as this know-it-all hot-shot to get a job, but I have found the best way to build relationships with people whom you’d like to work with (or for) is to start by being vulnerable, sharing your admiration for their work, and asking for advice,” Adney says. “I recommend doing this with professionals at companies you’d love to work for, long before they have a job opening you apply for.” 2. Don’t always follow your passion: “Follow your passion” is one of the most common pieces of career wisdom, says Cal Newport, author of So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love. “It’s also wrong.” If you study people who end up loving their work, most of them did not follow a pre-existing passion, he says. “Instead, their passion for the work developed over time as they got better at what they did and took more control over their career.” Adney agrees to some extent. She doesn’t think job seekers should completely disregard their passions–but does believe that “challenging this conventional wisdom is vital, especially since studies still show most Americans are unhappy in their jobs.” 3. Create your position: Don’t just sit around waiting for your “dream job” to open. Study the industry or field that you’re looking to move into, and determine a company or two that you’d like to work for, Hockett says. “Then figure out their challenges through relationships or public information. With this, you can craft a solution for them that you can share directly or publically through a blog, for instance. The concept here is to get noticed through offering a solution to help them with no expectation of anything in return.” 4. Learn how to listen: Job seekers are so caught up in conveying a certain message and image to the employer that they often fail to listen. “Powerful listening is a coaching tool, as well as an amazing skill to have in your life,” Abella says. “The art of conversation lies in knowing how to listen– and the same applies to job interviews. Know when to talk, when to stop talking, and when to ask questions.” When you practicing for interviews, don’t just rehearse your answers to questions like, “can you tell me about yourself?” “why do you want this job?” and “what are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?” Practice listening carefully and closely without interrupting. 5. Start at the top and move down: We learned from Chris Gardner (played by Will Smith) in The Pursuit of Happyness (the biographical film based on Gardner’s life) that you need to start from the top and move down. “Why approach human resources in hopes that your resume makes it to the hiring authority?” Parnell says. “Just get it there yourself. Be careful to use tact, respect and clarity during the process, but nevertheless, go straight to the decision maker.” 6. Build a relationship with the administrative assistant: While you want to start at

Ever walk out of an interview and wonder, “Why didn’t I say this?”  Worse, were you ever in an interview and while you’re trying to concentrate on the new line of questioning your mind keeps racing back to your failed response to a question three questions ago? And it is especially frustrating if it was a seemingly irrelevant question like, “If you were an animal, what type of an animal would you be?”